Our last guests left on Sunday, so this was kind of a back-to-reality week for me.
Having a lot of family here over the holidays has almost made me feel like being back in South Africa, so going back to being alone during the day was hard. I felt like I was back to where I started, having to adapt to life in Dubai all over again.
All of my teacher-friends in South Africa started work again on Monday, and I found myself being jealous of them. I miss starting a fresh school year with new classes, catching up with colleagues, seeing all my students and most of all the actual teaching. What I really miss is having something familiar and having some idea of what to expect from the year ahead. Right now, 2019 is scarily unfamiliar - I have no idea what this year holds. Should I start looking for teaching jobs, maybe tutoring jobs, stay home and keep focusing on the website? (Which is going really slowly at the moment)
So I have all of these questions and uncertainties, feeling very lonely and sorry for myself, and praying that God would give me some direction.
Then I go to Bible study on Wednesday. One of the girls from my group share her testimony and almost everyone is crying. In group time, we end up spending most of our time sharing and praying for each other in stead of talking about the study.
I am reminded of a few things:
1. I am not alone - God has placed me in a community of believers.
2. My problems are not actually as big as they seem to me.
3. God still cares about my problems because He cares about me.
Also on Wednesday, my mom asks me to pray as she is going to the doctor for a sonar. She has some problems with varicose veins and found some hard bulges on her leg. The doctor gave her ointment and the first ones were getting better, but more appeared higher up. If the sonar shows more clogging deep in the veins, it might be serious. We pray, and the sonar results come back. There are more clogs deeper in the veins, and she has to go see a specialist. We keep praying. The specialist says that the sonar doesn't match up with her symptoms. He takes another sonar, an x-ray, and yet another sonar. The results come back - there is no clogging deeper in the veins, and she simply has to drink some Disprin for three months. God is good.
This got me thinking, and I asked myself: why do I only really pray when it gets hard? Why am I not constantly asking God for guidance? Why am I not praying for my mom every day? So that is what I will try to cultivate: a lifestyle of prayer.
If this week has taught me anything, it is this: God is good.
I still don't know what this year holds, but I will try to keep to this:
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Philippians 4:6
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